Taub Judah Entertainment Palace

Sometimes you’ve got to say something ridiculous that you only partly mean in order to get to the truth of how you feel.

Gerard Way knows this very well. He likes to cram MCR songs with overly-dramatic, preposterous ideas, borne out of desperate revenge or terrible fury, as a redemptive, cleansing fire for his soul. He doesn’t feel like that all the time, and he knows that you don’t either. His songs are there for the moments that you do.

They’re also there because overstating the case is a lot of fun. We all do it, truth be told. Only the other day, I was listening to some new song or other, a bit bored, and because I was bored, I got a bit annoyed with the song, for not being more interesting. Then I decided that the reason it wasn’t interesting enough was because it wasn’t fast enough. Tempo isn’t the only compelling thing about good music, obviously, but it definitely helps to grab the attention. And this song was just deliberately getting on my nerves by dragging its heels.

Having hit upon this revelation, I rushed to the twittersphere and declared:

“Today I’m exploring a new code for listening to new stuff on the internet: TSDL: Too slow, didn’t listen.”

The responses were fittingly slow in coming, and slightly confused. People wondering if I meant that the download speed of the song was irritating me. They empathised with the lack of high-quality broadband. They commiserated with stories of stuttery videos and long waits for file downloads.

Seeking to explain further, I added this:

“It’s not that I don’t LIKE slow songs, it’s just I don’t think they’re pop music’s job. I’m in the Little Richard/Girls Aloud camp on this.”

Now, I don’t really mean this statement. Not fully. I mean most of it, in the sense that the pop music I love the best has velocity to it, it lifts and pushes, it grabs the neck and waistband in great big meaty bouncer’s mitts and lobs you towards the sky.

But you can’t just throw a rule like that out there without getting a few pained exceptions. People were quick to point out that there are some astonishing slow pop songs – ‘Back For Good’ being the most commonly mentioned – and any examination of what pop’s primary job might be that left those out would be a hugely flawed one.

But I certainly mean it enough to be able to say that this head-spinning rant of a song, raw rock meat sugared with all of the candy in the pop shop, and spiced up with revolutionary rhetoric, is MY KIND OF THING.

(Here’s the video. It’s Rad Max.)

It is dumb and clever and sardonic and heartfelt and fun and serious and witty and stoopid and enormous and daffy and amazing and amazing and amazing and amazing. It’s a shot of caffeine, to the face, using a baseball bat as a delivery system. Even the TITLE is brilliant (what with the brackets and all).

That’s basically all I want from a pop song, Giddy, plus thrills. Hell, I don’t even need the feeling to last forever.

Download: Out now

www.mychemicalromance.com
BBC Music page

Rock Music Mayhem says: “The track just oozes a new-found confidence, thus empowering a band that used to wallow in darkness and self-pity to break free of their ‘emo’ shackles and become what they set out to be from the start – a pure rock and roll band.”

The Singles Jukebox says: “It scans as punk but feels more like something off the Grease 2 soundtrack.”

View full post on BBC – Chart blog

Some songs contain a perfect sense of time and place. You can listen to them on a bus in the rain, in a ditch in the snow, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and they’ll always sound like a moonlit jog, or a moshpit in the middle of a hot festival afternoon.

This song, for example, has the sense of woozy dislocation that comes from having stayed up too late having a brilliant time – maybe even all night – and then trying to function the next day. You’re still you, you’ve got the endorphins whooshing around your system from all the fun you’ve been having, but your mind has yet to connect with the world at large and you can’t really get it together to say anything, in case your throat falls out.

You could be making toast, you could be brushing your teeth or walking to the shops, but somehow reality feels different to the way it normally does. The sun feels wrong on your skin, there’s a buzzing behind your eyes, you are powerfully aware of your own body and the moaning, sagging weight of it.

And worst of all, everyone else seems to be totally fine.

(Here’s the video. Is he wearing lip-gloss?)

As a companion to those confusing, blissful moments, ‘Let The Sunshine’ is close to perfect. Those chuntering rave synths wash in and out, in much the same way as things you have to concentrate on in order to do – doors, walking, breathing – and things you have just finished concentrating on, and have now forgotten. They stroke your jittery skin, they soothe your overheated brainial cortex, and encourage you to make the journey into the new day, much like a mother duck encourages her ducklings over to the pond for a first swim.

And lovely Labrinth is a patient, encouraging friend, helping you piece yourself together, and healing your shattered nerves with his cooling voice. It does help that the song is about enjoying the moment, and focussing on the good things in life. So it’s a reminder of the good things you’ve just experienced, and a demand for concentration.

But only a very passive one, the kind of demand you can meet in your own time, once your head has stopped throbbing and you’ve stopped having embarrassment flashbacks.

Download: Out now

www.labrinth.co.uk
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

Get To The Front says: “Although Simon [Cowell] was trying to find something edgy with Labrinth, ‘Let the Sunshine’ is a mixture of soulful crooning and a Hellogoodbye-style electro track which may just be the perfect kind of pop – uplifting, fun and with more than a smattering of talent.”

Flow Nerdia says: “I’ve seen it floating all over my Facebook with a million positive comments.”

Marvin Sparks says: “If this doesn’t hit number 1, I’ll… be very surprised.”

View full post on BBC – Chart blog

Ah, harmless fun. So hard to define, isn’t it? The things which tickle your personal funbones could well act as a supreme irritant to everyone else in the entire world, but would that make you wrong? Well, assuming you’re not doing anything too weird, it would not.

Also – and this is a general life rule we all should try applying more liberally – when it comes to things which make other people happy but get on your nerves, sometimes it’s best just to hold your tongue and let them get on with it. You really don’t ever want to be the grumpy adult in the middle of the child’s birthday party, sniping at everyone as they run around happily and telling them they’re not enjoying themselves properly.

It doesn’t matter if the cake wasn’t made to Jamie Oliver’s exacting standards and will transform anyone who eats it into a whirling dervish for the next nine hours, it’s a cake, it’s not supposed to be good for you. If you don’t happen to like cake, don’t eat it. It doesn’t make everyone who does want some an idiot.

Speaking of idiots…heeere’s Basshunter!

(Here’s the video. What’s that you’re sitting on, fella? Some kind of space toilet?)

I’m joking of course. Jonas may be a lot of things, but when it comes to cheesy dance anthems, he’s no fool. He knows that ‘I Like To Move It’ by Reel 2 Real featuring The Mad Stuntman is an untouchable classic. A song so madly distracting and addictive (even if you didn’t WANT to be addicted) that it wound up being used by the Madagascar franchise some 10 years after it was first a hit. And this is a fly-by-night, disposable bit of silly dance music, a song which shouldn’t have made it to the end of the year without being forgotten.

Well, now it’s back, and forms the backbone of Jonas’s latest excursion into The Fun Zone. But in case you’re thinking this is just some lame rehash, he’s written a proper song to go over the top. I mean clearly fans of ‘real music’ will take issue with the proper-ness of the song itself, but it has a clear verse-chorus-verse structure, a melody you can whistle, lyrics which make factual sense, what else would you call it if you were trying to not act out your inner party grump?

And actually, this represents a development in the Basshunter sound. Where once he seemed to be making dance tracks to sing to, now he seems to be writing with a full song in mind. This isn’t even – references to old songs aside – all that cheesy. I know!

It’s not perfect by any means. It’s not even really my kind of thing, beyond knowing a good pop hook or two when I hear ‘em. But in terms of what it was put together to do, and who it was put together to do it for, it’s actually a pretty good birthday cake.

OK, it’s not a tirimisu, but they’re harder to fit into the party bags.

Download: Out now

www.basshunter.se
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

ElectroQueer says: “It’s the most mature sounding Basshunter has ever been.”

The Guardian (!) says: “He’s not just living the dream, he’s living mine as well!”

RWD says: “The Swedish producer with a penchant for farting women returns with a slightly more mature (but not by much) sound…”

View full post on BBC – Chart blog