Taub Judah Entertainment Palace

Are you feeling alright? Everything OK in your world at the moment? Nothing troubling you too much, I hope? I mean sure, we’re all getting a bit blue now the summer is properly over and the days are getting shorter. The clocks go back this weekend and it’s easy to let your thoughts turn to bleak topics, now the sun isn’t providing such an eternal supply of that seratonin we all need to keep emotions on an even keel.

But otherwise, you’re basically doing alright, yes?

I only ask because there are so many hits around which aim to offer some kind of reassurance or helpful advice in times of stress; Bruno Mars, Tinie Tempah, Labrinth, wearers of hearts on sleeves to a man. And you’re the people who are buying their songs.

And now here’s Nelly, a man whose most notable hits to date have largely been concerned with going out and clubbing and looking at girls and being hot. And what’s he suddenly decided to sing about? Sloppy love stuff. Sad sloppy love stuff about losing someone and feeling the void and wondering what the point of everything is.

Hell, even CLUBBING has lost its appeal now. In a NELLY SONG. WHAT IS GOING ON, WORLD?

(Here’s the video. If you liked it then you should’ve put a MASSIVE RING on it.)

I can only assume you’re in a similar state to poor Nel yourself. You’re possibly reading this in three-day-old clothes, at some ungodly hour, wondering what happened to your life. You’re eating cornflakes at strange times, if you’re eating at all. You’re suddenly bursting into tears at the oddest moments – when you stub your toe, when the theme music to EastEnders starts, when the milk curdles in your teacup.

All of the things which used to bring you joy – the smile of a child, the company of friends, the films of Will Ferrell, now feel as irritating as a sandpaper loo roll, and there’s nothing that feels real except the endless banging on the same bruise. Why? WHY? WHHYYY??

Nothing except this song. Played 20 times in a row, and then another 20 times, just for good measure. And all you’ve got to look forward to is the glorious day when you’re finally ready to put on the sweary version of that Cee-Lo song, for a solid 29 hour period. That’s when you know you’re on the mend.

Chin up, chicken. You’ll get there in the end.

Download: Out now

www.nelly.net
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

We Got This Covered says: “‘Just A Dream’ has a slower and less hyper pace than most of Nelly’s songs, but it still has that pop appeal.”

The Singles Jukebox says: “This sounds like he’s already tired, turning in treacly exit music because it’s all he has left in him.”

View full post on BBC – Chart blog

Picture the scene: There’s a heated discussion taking place in the middle of a record company board room. Execs are hotly debating the release date of a new single, so that it can gain maximum exposure, reach as many ears as is humanly possibly and therefore drive people to the shops – real or virtual – in order to spend, spend, and once again spend.

The song plays quietly in the background, although it clearly has not been made with quiet play in mind, which is proving to be a distraction. It is a boisterous, Caribbean-flavoured thing, boasting a childishly simple, sing-song chorus.

It also boasts a man called Laza shouting incoherently about seizures and propellers, and a relentless skull-crusher dancehall beat, played as if a Troll was attempting to swat a swarm of cocky gnats off the EastEnders drum kit with his fists. It is deliriously happy, to the point of being simple-minded, and conjures up instant images of warmth and sunshiney freedom in everyone that hears it.

And it is this last point which is causing the trouble.

(Here’s the video. It’s basically Eric Prydz for girls)

On one side of the table, people are shouting that a record this summary needs to be out in the height of, y’know, SUMMER. They’re yelling that it’s a perfect soundtrack for outdoor barbecues and beach parties, and as such, needs to be available to buy at the beginning of the holiday season. A song this happy, they fume, is perfect for the end of term, with long weeks of hot nothing stretching out before you, rather than the beginning of a new school year, with new shoes that pinch, new uniforms that itch, and nothing but extra homework, conkers and the faint promise of Christmas to look forward to.

On the other side, arms tightly folded, faces impassive, are the record company’s corporate wing, the brand-holders. Their argument is far less emotional. They simply point to a copy of a TV listings magazine with a big picture of Simon Cowell on the front, and the headline, “IT’S BACK!”, then re-fold their arms and wait.

There is then some quiet discussion and a brief glace at a contract which appears to have been signed with red liquid, and the debate is over. Autumn it is.

Download: 5th September

www.alexandraburkeofficial.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

Popjustice says: “We have liked all the Alexandra Burke singles so far and we like this one too.”

Pop Boi says: “The new video takes the cake on cheese-factor”

Swear I’m Not Paul says: “It’s chirpy but banal, and extremely unlistenable. Repeated listens only make it worse. “

View full post on BBC – Chart blog